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I am finally awake, but it seems like there is a black hole in my week. I am still drained--the weather hasn't helped. It has pissed down with rain, while for the last two days I have watched gardeners take care of an immaculate estate; I just want to get out and weed the leeks and whack at the grass.
I am wiped. I worked the whole weekend Friday to Monday: almost 50 hours. On my feet, full on action, never a moment of rest. Two of those days I barely slept due to schedule or pain. Two days I worked for myself, two I began my new job. The jury is still out on whether I want to keep it, but as I may have seen my employers a total of about 2 hours out of 18 I had very little chance to share with them my insight on how they COULD make my life hell. The rest of the time it was like a dream--working in beautiful surroundings with all the right equipment for seemingly very nice people.
I am too tired to think at the moment. I have a ton of audio clips I want to glom together into a podcast and I want to surf the web and find out about the new show Hell's Kitchen
with my hero Gordon Ramsey. I had just enough strength last night to watch the tivo'd premier episode. It was better than coffee for perking me up. 12 useless people being yelled at by someone who cares. Some twisted part of me wished I could have been there, surely I can't be that useless myself. But then we all have somewhat of an inflated opinion of ourselves--its a survival method.
Ah, to coffee, oatmeal and vegitation. . . .
After months of doing sweet FA the moderate amount of activity in my life at the moment seems almost overwhelming. I feel like I've lost an entire day yesterday. I drove my Father-In-Law on a 225 mile round trip so he could make his yearly VA check-up. 5 hours for an half-hour appointment. And then on the way back I did a marathon shop for the Client meals I have to cook this weekend. 14 hours gone. I get a day of rest today, while I plan exactly what it is I am going to cook with all the food I bought yesterday. I should be out watering the garden right now--in fact I have two to water. I will leave by 7:30 am. . . .But I should also be billing for some minor work I did earlier in the month, and balancing my checkbook to see if there is anything left after I dropped hundreds on raw ingredients yesterday. . . .No, I don't want to know just now. I'll figure it out once I know how much money I will be making this weekend. They will help balance out any heart-stopping deficits. As long as there is some more money in the account at the end of the job then was there when I went in to it, I'll be happy--and we can eat for a week on the ingredients I didn't use.
Yesterday in the ferry lineup waiting for the ferry to come to the terminal I was watching a couple have a loud (I couldn't hear it though) argument. It was riviting. They were there in public having a quarrel and I sat there and watched in my rear-view mirror. It was all the more engrosing because she was fair and comely and he was a toad. He was causing this damsel quite a bit of distress as he ranted at her for 5 minutes solid. Then she sat on the hood exclaiming to him while she picked apart a tussy-mussy of some sort. Then she got up stomped towards him and he cowered, sat down in the car seat and she towered over him. The bunn of hair on her head bobbed up and down as she must have been giving him what for. She threw the plants into the car at him and stormed around to sit on the hood again, her lovlieness marred by the flush of frustration. She got into the passenger side of the car (NO, I thought--a tender Goddess like you deserves better) and the lowely worm crawled up to her to cry on her shoulder. Two minutes later as the ferry began to load they drove past us, all tears and appologies. Review beauty and the beast.
Well, it was hardly the restful weekend I had hoped for. It was crazytown here. We also managed to plant the large communal, family garden this weekend--mostly corn--which I could care less for because each year we plant it and each year it is a disapointment.. But we also managed to plant around 150 tomato plants, and tons of zucchini and other squashes. Plant zucchini? You must think me mad. Well, I am. I love the stuff. I love the blossoms and the whole deal. When they get too big and there are too many then I have great chicken food. We also managed to get neting over the strawberries so we might have a chance of a crop this year. Last year, between the dog, children, mice and birds, I don't think we actually ever ate any berries.
So amidst extreme gardening, and a nasty wind storm we had an unplanned meeting with our lone wedding clients of the summer who had come up to plant some pots for decoration. That has lead to us (wife and I) spending annoying hours grinding out minute details which we have already gone over ad nauseum. Favors, flowers, wedding toss, votives, etc. Each wedding has its different challenges, and each one has a point where it seems like all the challenges are met at once. Last night at 10pm was my saturation point. It will be a bustle of activity for a week or so over plans, after 3 months of nothing, and then it will calm down for a few weeks until it gets closer. Tip to those who are planning a wedding in the near future--Get hold of your choice of caterer/wedding planner and book them, but don't make any plans until 3 months before the actual ceremony. Do NOT plan everything up front, because things will change.
In the hubbub of all this, and planning a new job, and a small event this weekend coming up we get a phone call. It seems that we will be having company in a few weeks at absolutely the worst time. We won't be here other than to sleep. Everyone will be gone, but our "guests" had already booked their flights without letting us know until now. They wouldn't take no for an answer. They have paid for their flight and won't change it. Nice. I offered to be around a few weeks latter--after the wedding in July, but no. Why should they care how stressed out they're going to make us? I moved to the island 14 years ago to get away from this shit. Anymore, I'd rather live in the crowd--much easier. People don't visit you if you live in a suburban culdesac, just because you live there. No I am a target for people wanting a free ticket to a week of island life. Which would be fine if they didn't get here and sit on their asses doing nothing, waiting to be fed, complaining about everyone I used to know. . . .C'est la vie.
The podchef has been at his thang again. Not to everyone's taste, but worth a listen anyway. You can hear me muse about my upcoming Job.
The Rain outside puddles in my brain
The grey dawn aches into my soul
A chill has crept in carelessly open windows
A thick dampness molds my mood
Through a thick fog awareness stole
Each glimpse of rationality evaded me
A dimness of noise echoes
Exahustion fades but never goes
So much to life we give
little else we have to take
I should not poem think to write
Before I breakfast on such humble food
You have been up while I slept
And yet I sleep still sitting here
Transfixed as I am I cannot move
Like pablum I need your love
You've gone yet here you are
Edible, real, your love will go on
Yet I should not write to think a poem
Each bite I take to bring you home.
After all I have said here and there, I am still considering the private chef job. I have just had a great 45 minute phone conversation with the client in which many questions were answered and fears allayed. I now have some childcare and time-frame issues to work out, but I am thinking we are entering dream job criterea--at least as far as it goes out here, and with my luck. I am not over the final hurdles yet--there are other applicants for the job. However, I have a chance at working an intensive trial period which suits me. The other bonus is I would be able to return home each night. Result!
There also seems to be enough about this job to be very interesting, including learning new skills--but also being in creative control of meals, even if that is within a limited and challenging framework. I will also have the chance to work along side other great people. All in all I think I can do this and still keep my own beliefs about food, and still keep my soul intact. Or, that will be the challenge. The real draw is the garden and the prodigious abundance of produce. Oh, and the chance to have a few spondoolicks to spend every now and then.
Still waiting for a phone call about the job. Meanwhile, over on Channel Two my alter-ego has gone to a cafe and my storage unit. If you enjoy being bored to tears with the minutia of people's lives (and you are reading this. . . ) have a listen.
Yesterday's job interview went very well. I am not sure if I am still a candidate, as I made several devil-may-care comments and basically showed myself to be an overly knowledgable prick. The employers are nice, the location is beautiful--which will make the moral and ethical dilemma all the harder to meet with rational objectivity. Of course, I haven't been offered the job yet. Several of my questions were not even answered in my two hour meeting yesterday. I have reformulated them, based on observations made, and will work them into todays scheduled phone interview. These pertain largely to logistics--if the job requires 7days on and 7 days off: how long are the days? If I get paid $X per hour, how many hours can I expect out of the 30 weeks of work? How early to start, breaks, benefits, etc. . . . As you can see I am highly focused on the cash side of the equation. I know I can do the job, even if I have to totally re-think my role and learn new skills; but I need to know how much I am going to make if I am going to sell my soul to the nearest Guru.
(I just has a horrid thought--what if they found this blog! I think I am safe--I Googled my name, and my companies name, both of which they have, and this did not appear in the top10 for either. They could get here if they really wanted, like from the link on my website, but what does it matter. This is as much of who I am as anything else.)
I know, I know--I have an overly harsh inflection on the word Guru. . . . I come from a Judeo-Christian backgrond. I have studied the world's philosophies and cultures to some extent. I have delved in to Eastern beliefs. We all follow a leader of some sort--spiritual or not, whether we want to admit it or not. I now try to follow the practice of "moderation in all things". The middle of the road, middle ground, etc. This is not bland. If I am going to do something extreeme I do it moderately. This does mean I am not an early adopter. I wait to see what happens before I make my move. I compile others experiences and weigh them against what I am willing to risk. Hence extreemist views almost never seem reasonable to me. I look at both sides of the issue and find a middle way through. This may prevent me, cash hungry though I am, from accepting this job if offered to me. I think, though, it is good to recognise as good of an actor as I am, I would not be able to carry on a charde for more than a few month before shooting off my big, opinionated mouth and calling a spade a spade.
I'll let you know how the wrestling match ends.
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